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Safety, Confidence, Advocacy and Self Protection Skills for All Ages and Abilities
Practice helps to not freeze when you’re attacked – Brent Sanders,
author
_________________________________________________________________________
CONTENTS
1. NEWS and Introduction
2. Readers' Question
What should I tell my child about when it is and is not okay to fight?
3. Success Story
4. Safety Tip
Avoiding Rape
5. Recommended Resources
How Dangerous Men Think and How to Stay Safe for Life by Brent Sanders
6. Courses Coming Up
7. Acknowledgements of Sponsors and Contributors
8. For Further Information
9. Subscription Management
10. Copyright Notice
NOTE: You are receiving this newsletter due to past contact you have had with
our organisation. If you find this information of value, please take the time
to forward our newsletter to your colleagues, family, and friends. Should you
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___________________________________________________________________
NEWS NEWS NEWS
Presentation on 24 August in Auckland from 1.30 to 3.30pm for key community
people and people interested in becoming an instructor. Please contact us for
more information.
Family Fun on Sunday 27 August in Nelson. Join us at the Way-2-Go day at the
Victory Square from 12 to 2pm. Puppets, games, and fun activities will teach
children safety skills in an entertaining way.
1. ON THE ROAD
Kia Ora Martin and Cornelia,
Welcome to our twenty first issue, sponsored by Smythes Solicitors.
Spring is starting to make its wonderful presence felt – but our trip
to Balclutha, Queenstown and Christchurch was definitely made in winter. There
was snow everywhere!
Kidpower Teenpower Fullpower had a very full and successful schedule. Martin
and I worked with 347 people: children, teens and adults. It was powerful and
wonderful to be working with each group as people’s belief in their own
capability blossomed. As one organiser put it: “We spent two solid hours
in the most interactive, fully participatory way with eight adults and fifteen
children with ages ranging from four to fifteen years. Watching the confidence
of these people grow in such a short time was magical and a joy to see.”
Kidpower has also been to Wellington recently and KTF will visit Auckland 22
to 25 August, teaching in schools, running private sessions and working with
Police Education Officers.
The motivation behind using Kidpower’s services sometimes comes from
safety concerns. Emerging from the session with a greater sense of your worth
and ability to take charge in your live is very empowering, especially when
the learning has been fun!
Late last year over 10,000 people voted that their Number One ‘Big Dream’
was “New Zealand will be safe and secure for our families” in Telecom’s
New Zealander’s Top five ‘Big Dreams’ survey.
The power to realise that dream lies within each and every one of us.
Maree
Editor
PS. Please find safety tips and schedule information below. Feel free to ask
questions, to send stories, and to tell us what you want. If you find this information
of value, please take the extra step to pass it on. You could really make a
difference in someone's life just by doing that.
___________________________________________________________________
2. READERS' QUESTION:
QUESTION: What should I tell my child about when it is and is not okay to fight?
ANSWER FROM ERIKA LEONARD: In KIDPOWER classes, we ask children to promise
that they will only use the fighting skills we teach them to stay safe. This
means that they will fight as a last resort only when they are about to get
hurt and they cannot run away or get help.
However, each family is different. Considering our underlying guidelines can
help your family define your values and communicate your boundaries to your
children.
We believe that people have the right to use fighting skills in order to get
to safety as long as they have no other choice and as long as they take the
soonest opportunity to get away. This means that continuing to hit someone after
that person is no longer preventing you from getting to safety is difficult
to justify legally and ethically.
When considering whether or not to fight, asking ourselves "Why?"
can be helpful. The desire to get ourselves or our children to safety is one
reason which can justify the use of physical force. However, other strong emotions,
such as anger that can explode inside us when someone attacks us with words,
can lead us into fights that can make us LESS safe.
Many teens and children report that when they "fight to win" because
they've been called names or have been challenged, they end up having more fights
and feeling less safe. Often, when young people are clear and confident about
when and why they will fight, and if they resist the pressure of being pushed
into other fights, they project confidence and strength that discourages attacks
in general. They tend to feel safer while still being perceived as strong or
powerful by others.
___________________________________________________________________
3. SUCCESS STORY
From Irene van der Zande, co-founder and International Director of Kidpower
During the time when Timothy and I started KIDPOWER, I was also a Girl Scout
leader. I had 15 girls in my troop and I used to worry about that statistic
that 1 in 3 of them was likely to be assaulted.
Yesterday, the mother of one of my Girl Scouts told this story. Her daughter,
who we will call Marissa, had just moved back to Santa Cruz with her long-time
boyfriend. At about 2:30 in the morning, they were leaving a party near the
beach. A very drunk man started coming towards them, threatening to strangle
them. Marissa’s boyfriend is quite large and not used to anyone confronting
him. He was so shocked that he froze.
Marissa remembered her KIDPOWER training from at least 15 years ago and stepped
in front of her boyfriend into ready position. She shouted so loudly that people
heard her inside the bar and came out. When the man kept moving towards her,
Marissa kicked him and he ran away. Her boyfriend was astounded. Nothing he
had ever seen of Marissa before would have suggested that she knew how to yell
and kick like that.
We encourage people to keep practicing and we stress that nothing works all
the time. Still, it is nice to know that often the skills we teach stay with
people, like a safety net inside of themselves, ready to keep them from becoming
an assault statistic at a time of need.
___________________________________________________________________
4. SAFETY TIP
Avoiding Rape
(Taken from Brent Sanders book How Dangerous Men Think and How to Stay Safe
for Life)
In summary, Bart and O’Brien concluded that they had identified four
key factors in the actions taken by all of the women who avoided being raped:
1. Early recognition of danger. Be aware of your environment and of suspicious
behaviour or individuals. Keep in touch with your instincts; they seldom lie.
2. A strong determination to resist being raped. Focus on what YOU can do to
get out of the situation as opposed to focusing solely on what HE is going to
do to you. Be prepared to do whatever it takes to win.
3. Converting fear into anger. This is a key to self-defence. Allow yourself
to get angry, that means REALLY angry that this loser has had the gall to select
you! Use your anger to fuel your aggression and channel it against the offender.
4. An immediate and forceful response. All the evidence points towards the importance
of immediate and forceful resistance, whether it is running, screaming or fighting
back.
___________________________________________________________________
5. RECOMMENDED RESOURCES
How Dangerous Men Think and How to Stay Safe for Life by Brent Sanders
Random House Australia 2001
ISBN 0-091-84209-3
Info@winningedgestrategies.com.au
New Zealand author Brent Sanders has studied perpetrators and the reports of
over 2500 women who where assaulted.
“The message is simple. If you can run, run. If running is not an option,
verbally confront the offender. If verbal confrontation is not enough, get physical.
Be prepared to do whatever is within your power to get to safety.”
__________________________________________________________________
6. COURSES COMING UP
Most of our services are not on the schedule below. Please contact us to find
out how to organise a private workshop for the important people in your life.
Public courses:
AUGUST
In Auckland:
• 22/23/24/25..Please enquire to book sessions for your groups
• 24……KIDPOWER/FULLPOWER Presentation, 1.30-3.30pm
In Nelson:
• 27……KIDPOWER Fun Day at Victory Square, 12-2pm
SEPTEMBER
In Lower Moutere:
• 10……FULLPOWER day workshop for women and teenage girls.
9.30am-4pm
OCTOBER
In Nelson:
• 5/6.......KIDPOWER Holiday Course for 8 to 12 year olds
• 10........FULLPOWER evening workshop for women and teenage girls. 6.30-9pm
• 14........Parent/Child Workshop, with 4 to 8 year olds. 1-3.30pm
In Richmond:
• 16/30 & 6 Nov....FULLPOWER workshop for women and teenage girls.
6.30-9.30pm
___________________________________________________________________
7. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
MANY THANKS to our sponsors, donors and volunteers, especially Versatile Buildings
Richmond, Blanchett Fleming Accountants, BFS Ltd Insurance & Investment
Planner, Swiss Bakery Richmond, Nelson area members of the NZ Chiropractors
Association (Dawson/Burke/Loveday/Tasman Bay Chiropractors), Smythes Solicitors,
Sir Roy McKenzie, Community Post, Madeleine Baumgartner, The Todd Foundation,
United Way, Radio Nelson, Radio Works, Fresh 99.4 and 95.4 FM, Microsoft NZ
Ltd, Sargood Bequest, Community Organisation Grants Scheme, The Canterbury Community
Trust, John Ilott Trust, Save the Children NZ, Community Learning Aotearoa New
Zealand, NZ Community Trust, Pub Charity, Lion Foundation, Pelorus Trust, Lottery
Community, Network Tasman Trust, The Youth Worker Training Scheme and Nelson
City Council.
Article 2 'Reader's Question' from Kidpower Teenpower Fullpower International
Newsletter 20.9.03 (safety@kidpower.org , http://www.kidpower.org, USA 831-426-4407).
Thanks to their generosity and support, thousands of people of all ages, abilities,
and walks of life have become safer and more confident through having access
to our training.
Any donation, large or small helps us uphold our commitment to not turn anyone
away for lack of money.
___________________________________________________________________
8. FOR FURTHER INFORMATION
New Zealand Office: ph:(03) 543 2669, email: newzealand@kidpower.org
New Zealand Site: www.kidpower.org.nz
International Office: ph: 001-831-426-4407, email: safety@kidpower.org
International Site: www.kidpower.org
___________________________________________________________________
9. SUBSCRIPTION MANAGEMENT
You can unsubscribe at any time by sending a message from that address to newzealand@kidpower.org.
Anyone can subscribe by sending an email to newzealand@kidpower.org.
___________________________________________________________________
10. COPYRIGHT NOTICE
All articles in this newsletter are copyrighted to KIDPOWER TEENPOWER FULLPOWER
International and to the author. Unless otherwise indicated, the author is Maree
Hassik.
REPRINT PERMISSION
We encourage readers to share this newsletter with others. Permission to reprint
articles in other settings can be granted on a case-by-case basis. Please do
NOT put our articles or newsletters on other websites or in other publications
without specific written permission. Please contact our office for more information
(email newzealand@kidpower.org, site http://www.kidpower.org.nz, freephone 0800
543 769)
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